Memoirs Of A Housewife
  
   I have a secret obsession
   It's totally tupperware
   My own science project
   Defying wear and tear
   I'm jealous of shopping carts
   And all of their brand new things
   I want to fondle their labels
   In hopes one'll rub off on me
   
   'Cause everybody wants to feel brand new
   Like they do
   
   I spend my days indoors
   Doing like ding-dongs do
   Perfectly preserving
   Myself for you
   
   I take things out of their boxes
   Take out my note pad and pen
   Study carefully
   
   'Cause everybody wants to feel brand new
   Like they do
   
   So tell me you want me
   Tell me you need me
   Tell me I'll always be desirable
   Especially to you
   
   Make me feel brand new
   
   Attractive!
   
   Brand spanking clean
   And desirable as homecoming queen
   
   But if I were to bet
   All of the frenchfries in the world
   That you would say such things
   I would surely be one very hungry girl
   
   I approach china cautiously
   If there's cracks I deny it
   I ingest only perfect things
   Into my visual diet
   
   And at night I undress myself
   In front of your favorite things
   Your brand new hand-tied blue bass fishing lure
   And in the corner your money clip sings
   
   Everybody wants to feel brand new
   Everybody wants to feel brand new
   Like they do
   As they do
   I do too